Women are Stupid.

Not only are women stupid, but they are crass. I'm sure you have noticed the trend lately of women wearing low-rise pants. Well, this has got to stop. There is a reason that the original pants went up to where they did: SO YOUR CRACK DOESN'T SHOW WHEN YOU SIT DOWN. I was about to enjoy a delicious (and expensive) avocado salad at Greg's Uptown Diner this afternoon, but when I looked out the window there was a row of women sitting on a planter box having their lunch, and one of them had a good inch of crack showing. Disgusted, I pushed my salad away and walked out of the restaurant. The manager tried to flag me down about the bill, but I told him in no uncertain terms what I had just seen out of his window, and was considering reporting the incident to the papers. That put him in his place just fine. If I could have borne to get within ten feet of that crack-displaying, shameless female, I would certainly have asked for a full refund for my lunch, but the idea of seeing even more of her was simply too appalling. Plus, I had not paid for the lunch.