Saturday, April 02, 2005

I'm back.

Earlier this month I was attacked but now I am better. I will not go into the details of the abduction as I have several lawsuits pending. I may update on this subject if they begin to bear fruit, but until that time I am under a personally-administered gag order. I do not wish to endanger the purity of my litigation.

What I really want to talk about is the low quality of clerks these days. No matter where you go, you constantly run into morons who have the mental acuity of a potato clock. Just this afternoon I called Walgreen's pharmacy to ask if they carried a certain homeopathic burn ointment, and the woman who answered the phone had the presence of mind of a dandelion. When she answered, she shrieked the name of the store in a thick accent ("WahGrin!"), and then had me repeat my question THREE times before exclaiming exasperatedly, "well, *I* doh' know!"

I let her off with a curt "Well, I bet that's not all you don't know!" and hung up in her ear. I ended up ordering the ointment online, and will just put up with the discomfort until it shows up. There is no way Walgreens is getting a dime of my money, not after a spectacle like that. I also will no longer go there to purchase any other things, including their 25-cent ice cream cones. They are out of my life. With people like that representing the public-facing side of the company, who knows what sort of mucous-vomiting, mathless maniac is working in the back, touching all the products?

Screw Walgreens, and screw the low quality of workers today. America is going down the tubes.