Oh, this is TOTAL bullshit.
First of all, since my attack, I have been having trouble focusing my left eye. Add that to the list of lawsuit paperwork I already have to file...I'll be in court until the holidays! I'm going to see if there isn't some sort of government grant that folks can use to live on while they're suing people full-time.
Secondly, the post office has stopped delivering my mail. I don't know if that Samoan oaf is deliberately dumping it down a storm drain, or if mail cannot be delivered to those who are suing the post office, or what. So now I have to use UPS for all of my legal paperwork, and the expenses are quickly adding up.
The thing that absolutely has me seeing red, though, is that the day after the accident the police officer FINALLY showed up to take my report, and he had the damn nerve to chuckle as I was explaining why I consider junk mail to be littering, and why a littering mailman is a trespasser. When I told him how I had placed the mailman under citizen's arrest, he actually let out a loud, braying laugh, and I couldn't take it any more. I grabbed him by the shoulder, looked him straight in the eye, and, quite clearly, I told him that he was under citizen's arrest.
The son of a bitch had the nerve to radio for backup, which at that point he had no right to. I mirandized him and attempted to cuff him. Resisting arrest, he knocked me down and held me under his boot until his backup units arrived, at which point I placed them all under citizen's arrest.
It makes me too furious to recount the rest of the events, especially the part where they went out for pizza while I waited in the police car, and then teased me with a cold slice of pepperoni, so I guess you'll have to wait until my story breaks in the papers.
Secondly, the post office has stopped delivering my mail. I don't know if that Samoan oaf is deliberately dumping it down a storm drain, or if mail cannot be delivered to those who are suing the post office, or what. So now I have to use UPS for all of my legal paperwork, and the expenses are quickly adding up.
The thing that absolutely has me seeing red, though, is that the day after the accident the police officer FINALLY showed up to take my report, and he had the damn nerve to chuckle as I was explaining why I consider junk mail to be littering, and why a littering mailman is a trespasser. When I told him how I had placed the mailman under citizen's arrest, he actually let out a loud, braying laugh, and I couldn't take it any more. I grabbed him by the shoulder, looked him straight in the eye, and, quite clearly, I told him that he was under citizen's arrest.
The son of a bitch had the nerve to radio for backup, which at that point he had no right to. I mirandized him and attempted to cuff him. Resisting arrest, he knocked me down and held me under his boot until his backup units arrived, at which point I placed them all under citizen's arrest.
It makes me too furious to recount the rest of the events, especially the part where they went out for pizza while I waited in the police car, and then teased me with a cold slice of pepperoni, so I guess you'll have to wait until my story breaks in the papers.
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