Tuesday, April 11, 2006


I could not see more red than I am seeing right now.

"Veat." VEAT?! Is that what they called it? Agrarian Nation, the largest vegan food manufacturer in the world, has totally, TOTALLY dropped the ball on their mainstream vegan offerings.

First of all, they're calling their product "Veat." Yeah, like "meat." Right. Because we all want to think about meat all the time. We wish we were eating meat. Oh, how we wish we had meat. NO. WRONG. JESUS H KABAL OF ASSHOLES WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

Secondly, their sub-categorization is crass. Their poultry breast bestitute is called, simply, "BREAST." It's a lump of processed soyfu pressed into a mold. I know a room full of A.N. MBAs were laughing as they imagined us eating this stuff, but did they have to name the product just, "BREAST"? Not even "Turkey Breastitute" or "Chicken Breast Finger Betters"? I feel so insulted just buying a frozen container of "Breast." It's just, just...transparently insulting.

Oh, and if that wasn't bad enough, Daylight Savings Time has totally thrown off my digestion. I wish to hell they didn't arbitrarily gerrymander the clock every time a politician needed to stir up dust on a slow newsday.